Friday, August 31, 2007
9 more days to our one month, but think back...in this one month wad has we done? nth...more den 3/4 of it we has not contacted, we has not met each other...this can be said tat tis one month is not we stead de one month, is we severe ties de one month bah...
today at school saw her, asked her if she got my keychain not, she just replied me a yes...wad's more? nth more...
haiish...between us tats nth more to say le izzit? i wonder if she rmbr, when is the last time she ever contact me...just an sms, does it cost a bomb? last time, even if her prepaid low, or she has no phone, she will by all means go borrow or wadsoeva to contact me...now? nv borrow phone to sms me nvm...when she is at home? not even a phone call...its has been so damn fucking long since we chatted on phone le k...i wonder if she knows how i feel not?
guess she dunno bah, cuz she dun even bother to contact me...N level so cnt contact? even a sms also cnt?
today went down to arena tgt wit liting; eddie; zhencong; tairong; kelvin...the guys bike back, so me & liting took bus back...at the bus stop, chatted wit liting...asked her about winstone during N level is like wad de? very little contact, but still got contact...me & her? i nv sms her she wont sms me de...
these few days i nv sms her, see if she will sms me not...no`~ not a single one...maybe cuz of her N level? i dunno...shall wait for her N level to end? think by tat time break le bah...
i really see no hope in this relationship anymore le lors...for those who knows about us ALL say, why before stead & after stead so diff de...exactly`! why?
she will nv know how hurt i am...just went to her blog before i came to post...i live up to my name..."ai ku gui (cry baby)"...i cired...seeing all those post about me, so sweet can...thinking about us now, so damn far can...sometimes i wonder, izzit a silent break from her?
feel like sms-ing her & ask her if she wanna a break...but wad if the ans is no, & i asked her this, will she think tat i dun trust her enough, from no intention to break, to we break...i really dun wish a break...
saw ricky today...he told me about he & her gf going more den 2 months le...see wenbin still loving her after so long...see liting;winstone & joey;alvin so long le...see one by one example of their relationship lasting, how about mine?
saw chio bu today too, she di siao suan me about my relationship all cnt last...act like i do not wan it to last de...all 4 break wit me de k...dun care is i like them or dun like them, is they break wit me de lors...think i like it meh? who wont wan their relationship to last?
i keep smoking, to stop my tears...stupid idea right...
she dun like me to smoke...no no...is she dun wanna me to smoke...but i dun wanna cry...
aiya`~ i complain here also no use, she wont come up to my blog de...just type out to relieve myself abit lors...
but act like got relieve dao liddat...still hen sad, still hen xiang cry...
i really forget about florence le...serina told me something good about florence, but i'm not feeling happy or wadsoeva...all i can tot of de is her...she really created alot of memories for me...i admit, all did created memories for me, but hers is the sweetest, i can confirm...but tats all past...i blamed myself for accepting her so late...i blame myself for accepting her only when her heart starts to die...i got the wrong timing...but we cant turn back time, den wad more can i do? who is the angel out there to help me?
i dare to say tat i become more & more weaker le...i cried more & more often, more & more easily...
wad's the for of saying all these? nobody cares...nobody bother if i'm crying anot...suan le...maybe i'm too strong to them le...
ehhz...no lors...not at all...is nobody even give a damn to me...
i'm at a lost again...life is really too difficult for me...can i just leave? as in, leave this world? i, LEE XINHUE, can take it no more...
& once again, i did the worng things`~
*i really need you, but i guess its impossible for you to come back...*
